I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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