____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
