I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
