I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
