I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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