I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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