i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
