you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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