Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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