He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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