i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
