At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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