so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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