Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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