There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I will be naked everywhere
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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