What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Damn victory sex feels great
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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