Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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