just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
