Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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