every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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