You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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