Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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