i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
