I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
