White coat. Heels.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
