i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
