Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
