her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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