If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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