But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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