Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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