A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
