I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
