I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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