I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
