I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
