is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We talked him into tasing himself.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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