I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize