Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize