am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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