I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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