Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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