So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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