Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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