Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize