lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
