It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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