Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
