If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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