I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
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Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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