I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
