Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
