Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
