So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
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There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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