I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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