we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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