We're like a lot better than the average bears
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
