ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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